Understanding Dementia Behaviours | How Can I Support Someone with Dementia Who’s Struggling to Eat?

So let's talk about food—lots of different food out there and we've got lots of different subjects within the food.

First of all, let’s look at our teeth. A lot of people now are keeping their teeth right till the end of life, and it's very important that we are aware that people with dementia can still have pain.

Make sure that we're cleaning the teeth and checking the teeth. Also, make sure that we're asking them if they have any pain.

They might not be able to tell you, so it's important to watch them eat and see how they're swallowing. Are they struggling to eat? Our face says it all.

When you're looking at someone and they seem to be grimacing, ask them at the time what the pain is and where it is.

Please keep up with dental appointments, ensuring regular visits every six months. There are NHS dementia dentists who can actually come out and see you.

Have a look on Google or Bing to find which ones are closer to you. That will help you decide, as they do actually come out.

I don’t know whether you remember this, but when I was little, I would be given a plate of food and told I couldn't have ice cream unless I'd eaten it all. Or I wasn’t allowed down from the table until I’d finished my food.

Think of this person now: they’re sat in a chair all day, not using much energy, and you give them a big plate of food. They might think they can't have anything sweet, or they can’t get down from the table unless they finish it all.

They may start to hide food. For instance, if she’s sat in a chair, she may put food in the chair or the plants beside her—anywhere she can.

She's hiding it because she thinks, “If I don’t eat all that, I’ll be in trouble.” It’s heartbreaking to think of someone in their 80s or 90s worrying about getting in trouble.

They shouldn’t have to feel that way at their age. They have a right not to eat or drink if they don’t want to.

Think about what their taste buds are now, as dementia can bring a very sour palate. You may think, “My mum’s never had a sweet tooth, and now she’s eating chocolate.”

This is part of the changes dementia brings. You can help by putting a teaspoon of sugar into the potatoes or vegetables.

This won’t make them overly sweet, but it will take the sourness out. Don’t be upset about what sort of food they’re eating—at their age, they can eat what they like.

However, we must think about moderation and their health, especially if they are diabetic or have a blood condition that affects their diet.

When helping someone with their diet, ask the doctor about what foods are good or bad for them. Most doctors will give you a list of recommended foods.

Be mindful of what medication they’re on, as medication can also affect their taste buds.

Serve smaller portions on a smaller plate. A small amount of food can feel more manageable, and you can always go back for more.

If they finish their plate and look at you, you can say, “Would you like some more?” Or, if you're in the dining room, you could have old-fashioned serving dishes on the table so they can help themselves.

If the food isn’t there, they can’t serve themselves, but if it’s all on their plate, they might just sit there and not eat. This could lead to them not eating at all.

Think about smaller plates and smaller portions to make it easier for them.

The other thing about food is obviously taste and flavours. Sometimes we get very strong flavours from certain foods that they may not like anymore.

Parsnips, for instance, are one of the biggest foods with a strong flavour. When cooking, keep in mind that foods like cabbage, cauliflower, and broccoli don’t have particularly strong flavours.

However, root vegetables like parsnips and carrots can be quite strong in flavour. So, also make sure that you’re dealing with flavours that suit their preferences.