Caring for a loved one with memory loss, memory impairment, or dementia can be challenging. Simple daily tasks, like remembering appointments, finding everyday items, or preparing meals, may become difficult for them. However, there are small adjustments you can make to help support their independence while reducing stress for both of you.
Pippa, our Caregiver Trainer and Community Liaison, shares some practical suggestions to make life easier for a parent experiencing memory challenges.
Use Visual Cues and Lists
Lists and notes placed in visible locations can serve as helpful reminders. Some ideas include:
- Post-it notes on the fridge or near commonly used areas
- Labels on drawers and cupboards to help locate everyday items like cutlery, dishes, or clothing
- A large calendar on the wall, clearly marking appointments, social events, and daily routines
Encouraging your loved one to write things down themself can help with recognition and memory reinforcement.
If they struggle with remembering an appointment, referring to a calendar with their own handwriting may help reassure them and make them feel more in control. Showing them the appointment details in a familiar format can sometimes ease frustration and resistance.
Handling Emotional Reactions
Memory loss can sometimes lead to emotional responses like anger, frustration, or confusion, especially when your mom forgets an appointment or a planned activity. If your loved one becomes upset, remain calm and gently guide them towards a solution. For instance:
- Take them to the calendar and remind them of the appointment in a reassuring way.
- Acknowledge their feelings and offer comfort rather than arguing or insisting they must go.
- If they refuse, try again later when they may be more receptive.
These small reassurances can help reduce stress for both of you while reinforcing their sense of control.
Supporting Independence at Home
If your loved one is struggling to find items, labelling cupboards, drawers, and wardrobes can provide a clear visual guide. If they resist, you can present the idea as a way to help yourself rather than just for their benefit. This approach may encourage them to accept the support without feeling like she is losing control.
It’s important to remember that some strategies may work one day but not the next. Dementia and memory impairment can be unpredictable, so flexibility and patience are key. If a certain approach doesn’t work today, don’t be discouraged—it may be helpful another time.
FAQs
You can gently encourage her by making it a shared activity. If she still resists, you can write it for her in a way that feels familiar and easy to read.
If the calendar alone isn’t enough, consider setting phone reminders, placing notes in multiple locations, or enlisting the help of a trusted friend or caregiver.
Try framing it as something that helps you too. Saying, “I sometimes forget where things are, so I’ve added these labels for both of us,” can make her feel more comfortable with the idea.
Stay calm and reassure her. Distraction and redirection can help in difficult moments—shifting focus to something positive rather than insisting on a task.
Yes! Digital clocks with date displays, whiteboards for notes, and voice-activated assistants like Alexa can also be useful for reminders and reassurance.
Caring for a parent with memory challenges requires patience and adaptability. While some strategies may not work every time, small adjustments can make a big difference in maintaining independence and reducing frustration for both of you.
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Jayne is a highly experienced dementia care specialist with over 17 years in the field. She began her career in 2004, progressing through roles such as hourly visiting carer, coordinator in the live-in care department, and lead dementia trainer. Jayne completed Specialist Practice in Dementia (Mental Health) at Worcester University and has developed bespoke dementia training for managers, carers, and family members.
Recognised for her contributions, Jayne received the National Dementia Care Personality award at the Great British Care Awards 2012. She has also been a speaker at numerous conferences and reviewed dementia-related publications.
Now with Unique Senior Care, Jayne works as a recruitment consultant, recruiting carers both in the UK and overseas, contributing to dementia training for both staff and families. Jayne’s dedication to compassionate, person-centred dementia care is evident in her extensive experience and numerous achievements.
