How to Help a Loved One with Dementia Who Keeps Misplacing Things
If you’re caring for a loved one with dementia, you’ve probably experienced the frustration of lost items. One day, the car keys are in the fridge. The next, their favourite scarf is nowhere to be found. When this happens, it can be stressful—not just for them, but for you too. But with the right approach, you can manage these situations with patience and understanding.
Why Do People with Dementia Misplace Things?
Misplacing items is one of the most common behaviours in dementia. As memory and reasoning skills decline, everyday routines become harder to follow, and objects often end up in unusual places. Your loved one might forget where they put something, struggle to retrace their steps, or even hide things for safekeeping and later forget where they put them.
This can lead to frustration and even accusations—“Someone stole my watch!”—because, in their mind, they know where it should be. Understanding that this isn’t intentional can help you respond with patience rather than frustration.
Common Items That Go Missing
Some things seem to disappear more often than others. Here are a few of the most common missing items:
- Jewellery – Rings, necklaces, and earrings are often removed and left in unexpected places.
- Clothing – Jumpers, scarves, and hats might be stored in kitchen cupboards instead of wardrobes.
- Food – Snacks, biscuits, or even full meals can end up in drawers, under beds, or tucked into coat pockets.
- Important documents – Letters, bills, and passports might be hidden in books or in between sofa cushions.
- Personal belongings – Keys, wallets, glasses, and mobile phones are often misplaced multiple times a day.
Why Lost Items Can Cause Anxiety
When your loved one can’t find something important to them, it can trigger distress, anger, or even accusations. They might be convinced that someone has taken it, leading to tension between family members or Caregivers.
As difficult as these moments can be, it’s important to remain calm. Correcting them or insisting that nothing has been stolen might only escalate their frustration. Instead, acknowledging their feelings and reassuring them that you’ll help look for the item can help ease their anxiety.
How to Respond When Something Goes Missing
When a missing item causes stress, it’s easy to react in ways that might not help. Here are some common responses to avoid:
- Asking them to recall when they last saw it – Their memory may not allow them to retrace their steps, which can make them feel even more frustrated.
- Dismissing their concern – Saying, “It’s not a big deal,” can make them feel unheard or upset.
- Getting defensive – If they accuse you or someone else of moving their belongings, try to stay calm rather than arguing.
Instead, focus on providing reassurance:
- Acknowledge their feelings – “I can see this is really upsetting for you. Let’s look for it together.”
- Redirect their focus – “Why don’t we have a cup of tea first, and then we’ll find it?”
- Use gentle humour – “That watch is always playing hide and seek with us, isn’t it?”
By showing empathy rather than frustration, you can help ease their distress while working towards a solution.
Helpful Strategies for Handling Misplaced Items
Here are a few practical ways to manage misplaced belongings and reduce stress:
1. Create a Designated Spot for Key Items
Having a set place for important items—like a dish for keys or a drawer for glasses—can help limit the search when things go missing. Labelling shelves and containers can also help your loved one remember where things belong.
2. Check Unusual Places First
Instead of looking in logical spots, start with the unexpected ones—like the fridge, bathroom cabinet, or under a cushion. If your loved one has a habit of hiding things, you’ll soon learn their go-to hiding spots.
3. Keep Spare Items Handy
If certain things go missing often—like reading glasses or house keys—having a spare set can prevent unnecessary stress.
4. Label Important Belongings
Labelling drawers, cupboards, and even certain belongings can serve as a helpful guide for your loved one.
5. Gently Guide Them Through a Search
Rather than insisting they lost something, turn it into a team effort: “Let’s have a look together. I bet we’ll find it in no time.” This reduces blame and keeps the search calm.
Using Distraction to Ease Anxiety
Sometimes, searching for a lost item isn’t the best immediate solution—especially if your loved one is feeling agitated. Distraction can help shift their focus:
- Change the subject – Talk about something they enjoy or ask about a favourite memory.
- Engage them in a task – Ask for their help with folding laundry, making tea, or watering plants.
- Use humour – A lighthearted comment can sometimes defuse tension and make them smile.
What to Do When Food Goes Missing
One of the most common misplaced items is food—half-eaten sandwiches in coat pockets, biscuits stashed in drawers, or fruit hidden under pillows.
To help manage this:
- Organise the kitchen – Keep food in the same places and label cupboards to make it easier for them to find what they need.
- Check hiding spots regularly – Keep an eye on common hiding places to prevent food from spoiling.
- Make snacks accessible – Having small, visible snack containers can reduce the urge to hide food for later.
Patience Is Key
Misplacing things is frustrating—for both you and your loved one. But patience and reassurance can make these situations easier to handle.
If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a deep breath before responding. Remind yourself that this is part of their condition, not something they’re doing on purpose.
You’re Not Alone
Caring for someone with dementia can feel isolating at times, but there’s support out there. Talking to other Caregivers who’ve been through similar experiences can be incredibly reassuring. Support groups, online forums, and dementia organisations can provide practical advice and emotional support.
FAQs: Handling Lost Items in Dementia
What should I do if my loved one accuses someone of stealing?
Stay calm and avoid arguing. Validate their feelings by saying something like, “I understand that this is upsetting. Let’s see if we can find it together.”
How can I prevent things from going missing in the first place?
Try creating a set place for important items, labelling storage areas, and keeping spare items handy. Keeping track of common hiding spots can also help.
Why does my loved one keep hiding food?
Some people with dementia develop a habit of storing food because they worry they won’t have access to it later. Keeping snacks in easy-to-find places and regularly checking hiding spots can help.
Is it normal for someone with dementia to misplace things frequently?
Yes, misplacing items is very common in dementia due to memory loss and confusion. It’s important to approach the situation with patience and understanding rather than frustration.
Where can I find support as a Caregiver?
There are many dementia support groups, online communities, and organisations that offer advice and resources for Caregivers. Reaching out to others in similar situations can provide comfort and practical help.
By staying patient and using simple strategies, you can help your loved one feel more at ease when things go missing. It’s not always easy, but small changes can make a big difference—for both of you.
Discover More Support & Information For Your Care Journey
Visit our Learning Centre for expert articles, helpful videos, in-depth guides, and answers to common questions – helping you make informed care decisions, with confidence.
With a background spanning over two decades in the field of marketing, I have had the privilege of working across diverse industries, ranging from insurance to sports, technology, and health & well-being.
While my previous experience did not directly involve care services, I have acquired a deep understanding of the sector’s needs and challenges through my wife. For the past eight years, she has been dedicated to providing the highest level of support to her clients as a compassionate caregiver.
Witnessing the profound impact that committed caregivers have on their clients’ lives when the opportunity arose to join the esteemed team at Unique Senior Care, it was an easy decision for me to make.
During my free time, you may find me leisurely strolling across fields with a metal detector in hand, eagerly exploring the possibility of unearthing hidden treasures. Alternatively, I love nothing better than making the most of our National Trust membership and cherishing precious moments spent with my family.
I am genuinely thrilled to be a part of the Unique Senior Care team, where I can bring my expertise to the table and share a sincere passion for enhancing the lives of those we serve.
